I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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