Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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