What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
