today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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