i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
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Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
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My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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