I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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