it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
