bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
