I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
