have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
