Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
