sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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