So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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