I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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