I just saw a hot homeless man
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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