do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
