erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
i black out too much to be "responsible"
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
