Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Porn is love you can see.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
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