Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
