am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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