I bet he comes in French.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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