In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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