don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
