Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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