I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
