FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
