It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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