Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
