we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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