Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
