Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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