i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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