Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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