i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
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Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
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It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
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