I bet he comes in French.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
