I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
we're chasing vodka with high fives
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
