Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
