i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
