just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I still have a little drunk in my system
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
