i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
