we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
