I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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