So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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