Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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