If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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