this just has baby written all over it
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Boobs speak an international language.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
