The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Randomize