I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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