she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i think i just lost a toe
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