So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
