Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Randomize
