I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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