Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
