I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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