So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Found your dick twin last night
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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