So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
