You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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