Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
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He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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