he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
