He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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