Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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