oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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