C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
