she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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