I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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