Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
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